I’ve Got Nothin’

I’ve got nothin’.

There are starts to three different posts with 500-700 words each sitting in my draft tab. I hate all of them. 

Over the past year I’ve been really proud of the work I’ve put out on this blog. As all of you know, it’s a little bit of a feat every time you hit that ‘Publish’ button, and put yourself out there into the world. I don’t feel nervous sharing my work anymore, but I am always anxious to see how people will respond. A lot of writers say you’re supposed to write for yourself. I’m not big on “supposed to” cause it almost never fits me, and then I am sitting in a place where I’m wrong or inadequate. I do write for other people. I write what I want to write, and I do it with the focus of reaching the one person it needs to reach. I always hope there’s that one person out there that reads something I’ve written and gets to laugh or cry, or nod their head and think, thank God, I’m not the only one. 

I’ve really been reaching the past couple of weeks. I haven’t loved the past two pieces I’ve posted, and that feeling is foreign to me. That’s not to say that I love everything I write, but usually there is a level of effort and pride–a certain standard I hold to everything I share with you guys. I’ve been digging deep to give you the best of what I have, but honestly, I’m coming up short. I really wanted to finish out the year strong. I keep visualizing my last mile of the marathon, where somehow my legs woke up and pushed through to that finish line after feeling dead for several miles before. I’m trying to replicate that with my writing. I keep stepping on the gas hoping there’s just a bit left to go on. But so far, nothing.

I can’t give you guys anymore crap that I’m not proud of. I won’t. I’m coming to terms with the fact that perhaps finishing the year strong means something different than I envisioned. For me, it might be about letting go, and having gratitude for how far I’ve come. I think it’s also about resting and recuperating to get ready to give 2018 everything I’ve got. I’ve been sick for the past several days. It’s just a cold–a constant runny nose, lots of sneezing, fits of uncontrollable coughing. Last week on Sunday I randomly started vomiting and couldn’t keep any food down for hours. This is how my body reacts when it needs rest. It’s learned that it has to physically STOP me, otherwise, I will usually keep going. I’ve worked really hard to try to get better at this, but blogging hasn’t helped that effort. You see, I don’t really count writing and blogging in the things I have to take a break from. I’ll skip a workout or a yoga class, and call it a rest day, but I’m still up at 430 or 500 writing and outlining future pieces. I just really want to be good. I really want this blog to be a place somebody could stumble upon and think, hey, this might be worth following–there may be something for me here. 

I want to start the New Year with a bang. But it’s not going to happen if I keep running myself ragged. It’s a tough lesson to learn, but I think I can spare myself some pain and anxiety if I stop fighting it, and just let go. So, this means, you may not see any more posts from me for the rest of the year! I was pretty determined to have a Christmas post, and of course something for New Year’s. I still might. But it’s got to come to me in a glorious jolt–it’s got to pour out of me. I want to have so much to share with you that I can’t type as fast as the words are coming. That’s how I’ve felt for most of this year. It’s what makes me love to write. I’ve got to take a break to get it back.

In the meantime, I’ll be savoring time with my friends and family, eating great food, and enjoying every bit of running and yoga my body decides it wants to partake in. I’ll be a little less active in the blogoshpere–not as much reading and commenting as usual. But still expect to hear from me–I love keeping up with you all, it makes my heart happy.

Since I’ve been a bit down on myself the past week and unhappy with my writing, I wanted to end on a positive note, and share some of my favorite posts I’ve done this year. If you’re new to my blog, I hope you’ll find something you can connect and nod your head to. If you’ve been around here for a while–thank you. You’re the best.

My Best of 2017:

  • Aww, just a young pup, here I’m reflecting a bit on all the feelings, just about a week after learning I got into the NYC marathon through the lottery. I had to include this as well cause I think it’s the first post that I decided I was going to really commit to blogging.
  • I finally run my first under 2 hour  13.1 at the Brooklyn Half this year!
  • Oy, 2017 has been something else right? Here I talked about how blogging can sometimes feel stupid, in the midst of it all.
  • I reached 100 followers back in June, and it was such a thrill for me. I’ve got a few more now and I’m incredibly grateful for all of you!
  • I had so many people from back in high school contact me privately after this post to tell me how much they connected to it. It felt really good.
  • The perfect summer day with my love, windows down, tunes up.
  • Thinking I may need to reread this post about rest .Over and over and over again, apparently!
  • I was ecstatic to share the wonders of magnesium oil, and have been overjoyed at how many people have gotten in touch with me and said it has worked for them.
  • This post did not get the biggest response, but it meant a lot to me. I think it’s the first time I open up a bit about my sobriety.
  • I think I lose some readers when I start talking less about running, and more about stuff like this, but that’s ok. I’m thinking 2018 will bring similar posts.
  • I’m a mixed girl from the Midwest who now lives in NYC and is married to a white guy from Queens–I see color, everyday.
  • Out of my weekly marathon training check-ins, this is one of the ones you guys liked best.
  • New readers may not know, I wrote a mile by mile series to go with my marathon training. It was grueling, and I often regretted having started it while I was going through it. Now I’m really proud of it and happy I saw it all the way through. I think Miles 13 & 14 was one of my favs–I love the juxtaposition of how weak my eating disorder used to make me feel up against how strong I felt during training.
  • Podcast Queen
  • My favorite weekly marathon check-in. I was just a few weeks away, and learning so much!
  • I’ll forever be grateful to this post because it introduced my blog to SO many new readers through WordPress Discover. It’s funny, this post is about getting sober, and I’ve had so many people lovingly reach out and thank me for sharing my story. Honestly, every time it’s happened I’ve thought–my story? That’s like a minute of my story! It’s a lifelong journey for sure–always more to come on this front. Thanks to all who received this part so warmly!
  • Ending that grueling mile by mile series felt just as good as crossing the actual finish line!!
  • My most EPIC DAY of 2017–and maybe of my life.
  • Writing this piece was a relief, especially because so many of you seemed to be able to relate to me on it. That’s got to be one of the biggest gifts of blogging–having people relate to you. You are never the only one!
  • My last marathon reflection. Someone commented that this piece was sad and heavy. I took that as a huge compliment–it’s what I meant for it to be. That being said, I understand why less of you were into this one. It’s the holidays, time to take in the happy!

 

It’s funny, the posts that I was the most excited about or thought were my strongest, are not always the ones that other people respond to. Do you guys find that as well?

Like I said, if inspiration strikes, I may get some holiday posts in here. If not, everyone please enjoy the season. Looking forward to a strong and hopeful 2018. x

 

 

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72 thoughts on “I’ve Got Nothin’

  1. Love your post and I even went back to read some of your other posts. I am reluctant about some things I post and yet to share on my personal Facebook page. I’ve only been blogging since the beginning of the year but I will eventually get there. I have a million things in my head as well as my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You definitely will get there! And just btw, I think sharing on FB is overrated! Write what is in your head and in your heart–and people will find you. The right people. Congrats on starting your blog–so exciting! I am so so happy to have you here, hope you come back and leave your thoughts again! x

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  2. Cat, you don’t have to explain yourself to us… do what you need to do and make sure you don’t beat yourself up for it! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog, although I’m not a runner and probably barely a walker (blame the suburbs, I’m spoiled!) LOL I see we have some things in common mainly A. We are both cute AF and 2. We do that deeply personal thing of writing and baring our souls…I’m looking forward to reading some of your previous post. Also, look at all the love you are getting in your comments. We are all here rooting for you, and that’s like being wrapped in a virtual hug! I hope you get 100% better and are enjoying your New Year’s Day!

    *hugs*

    -She

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This was the sweetest message She, thank you!! YOU are def cute AF, Idk about me, LOL. Thank you for rooting for me though, it’s insanely appreciated!! Happy New Year Girl, hope all is well with you!! x

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    1. Texas!! Thank you so much, I am so happy to have you here! Sorry it took me a bit to respond–that is not normal for me, but I took a bit of a hiatus to get my brain back!! Runners and travelers–you guys are right up my alley, I will check you out soon. Hope we connect more going forward for sure. Thanks again so much for stopping by–please come back!! Happy New Year!!

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    1. Hey lady! I read very little the past few weeks but I think it went well ;). I appreciate the suggestion and am going to apply it going forward to reading AND to writing! Going to stick with the blogging of course but going to start challenging myself to write some different things as well.
      Hope you had a great holiday, can’t wait to check in with your blog and see how you’re doing. Happy New Year!! x

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  3. Well you connected with me chick. And when I look at your comments I’m definitely not the only one. I think, like me, you’re probably your own harshest critic. For me it goes into everything, my writing, my training, my work. No one pushes me like I push myself, and if they did I would probably tell them to Fuck off 😂. Personally I’ve loved all your posts, and have always been glued to them. You’re very honest and open and that’s one thing I’m always drawn to in people. Admitting that things are hard, that sometimes you just want to give up, that’s what makes us all human. Anyone who doesn’t feel that way at some point is lying to themselves. Have an amazing Christmas and new year chick, you deserve the break and rest. Try not to be too hard on yourself, but I know that can be a struggle 😘 wishing you all the best for next year, and can’t wait to read about it xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Cat,
    The one thing I have noticed is that you are a machine, your quest for fitness and improvement is immense. I always wonder how you fit it in, so take a well deserved break lady and come back strong in the New Year. From a fellow blogger who is well behind you on content and commitment….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Such huge compliments Jan, I can’t be sure I deserve them, but thank you!! I have to say in the middle of marathon training and writing, I felt like a machine. It made me feel powerful. Now that feels very far away 😝😢. But it was a great experience. I think more than anything this year I learned that I am capable of more than I thought.
      And don’t go selling yourself short—I feel like you’re super committed. I think we don’t always see what everyone else does. Here’s to great commitment and content from both of us in 2018! Can’t wait to hear more from you!! Happy holidays Jan! x

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I hope you take the time you need to feel strong and creative again. I always find it tough to take breaks, but sometimes that’s what you really need.
    I’m always amazed by which posts are popular! They are mostly not the ones I thought would be!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. There seems to be a lot of 2017 burnout going around. I say embrace it and use it as an excuse to stay in, get wrapped up in a sleeping bag, make a coffee and watch a Netflix series or two, or maybe get involved in reading a truly epic novel. For me, some of the paragraphs you have written this year have perfectly articulated a feeling I’ve had – connection made!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Netflix is getting used like never before!! It’s been great so far. Thanks so much for this. So glad you have connected to some paragraphs this year–I’ve connected to your work as well, and you’ve given me a chuckle more than once. I think that is some of the best of what writing can do!!
      Enjoy the holiday, and look forward to interacting in the new year!!

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  7. Hey Sister- I am hitting the same road blocks in my narratives as well. I want to write but it’s tough to my thoughts together. To be honest, your words speak for me! Very inspiring, my thoughts are spinning now. And I went back and read your 18th Mile Post. I immediately got emotional and thought about my own breakdowns and lessons learned from that section of the course. I’m battling my own thoughts but I keep going back to the 18th Mile and the thoughts that kept me going. I just hope I’m victorious as well. Love ya Sis

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I am so proud of the year you have had Petey and so grateful that i have gotten to be a small part of it. You’re a marathoner!! Pretty cool ;).
      I am sure we will both have lots to share in 2018. I can’t wait!! Love to you and your fam Pete, have a great holiday!!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. I love your blog and everything you write, this included. I completely get it. Sometimes the words do coming pouring out, demanding to be heard and other times…..nothing. You should be proud of your year – running and writing – and I look forward to delving once more into your thoughts when you’re rested and ready 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Gill. This made me all warm and tingly–it feels amazing that you would say you enjoy the blog so much, thank you!
      You should be proud of your year as well–so much good running and writing!! I’ve enjoyed watching you push yourself and grow and discover. You’ve been an inspiration!
      Have an amazing holiday and look forward to chatting and inspiring each other in 2018! x

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  9. Im proud of you. When I “got nothing” I carry my little spiral notebook in my purse jsut in case something pops into my brain. I think my most thought provoking place is the gym, most likely because I relax and tap into my me. I know you can relate. that is a runners trait. Nice post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww. I love when you are proud of me. It feels good!! Thank you lady. And yes, you know i can relate to inspiration at the gym! Can’t tell you how many times i have pulled out my notebook on my phone and jotted something down. Those juices get flowing and so do the ideas!!
      Have a great holiday lady–lots of love to you and yours. x

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  10. I only just read you last post and I liked it a lot!
    I’m lucky enough to be able to eat what I want without gaining any wait, but I have irritable bowel syndrome, so my challenge is that if I eat the wrong thing, or too much I start feeling really bad. And sometimes when I think I did all the right things I still feel sick. I do very much like your idea of being sensible throughout the day and only eating things you maybe shouldn’t eat too much of at the end of the day.

    I do completely agree that it should be ok not to write if it doesn’t feel right though. This should be fun. You already have a job where you can’t just stay away if you don’t feel like going for a day or two. Writing should give you energy and make you feel good!

    I wish you very happy holidays and I hope that you will have a great time with your friends and family!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It would be incredible to have a job where i could stay away when i needed a day or two :). You’re right though, it should be fun!! Getting some rest now to make sure it stays that way :).

      Mirjam I am so happy to have you here. Hope to hear from you lots in 2018!! Have such a happy holiday!! x

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  11. Hanna

    Yes – I always used to find that the posts I put a ton of thought into got little response, but the ones I offhandedly jotted out would get a ton of comments and “omg this is brilliant!” Same thing in college with the poems I wrote for my creative writing minor. Go figure, huh? I think that if we are truly writing for consumption and not just for ourselves, we have to accept that once something is out there we relinquish a bit of ownership of it. Once its out there, it’s out there, to be judged interpreted, and it doesn’t matter how much I like it or how hard I worked on it – it is what it is. Different people with different circumstances are going to read and respond differently to anything.

    I think it’s good you are taking some time off if you are struggling with what sounds like some writer’s block. But I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. My writing professors and mentors and peers all used to tell me the same thing: “don’t worry about writing something GOOD, just WRITE.” By all means take time off if writing is causing you stress, but you are selling your audience short if you hold back from them just because you don’t feel that something is brilliant or a “glorious jolt”. I understand wanting to put out good content but the ultimate irony is that your writing will suffer if you’re not giving yourself freedom.

    I hope that doesn’t sound harsh – it’s not meant to be! I hope you have a wonderful holiday and look forward to your posts in the new year.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You don’t sound harsh Hanna, I have learned to always take your comments constructively and they are always helpful!
      Reading over this piece I can see how it sounds like I am being hard on myself–it also seems like I have never struggle with writing until now. That’s now true at all! I have writer’s block all the time. This year has been really amazing because I feel like I have really built up some muscle–I have learned how to fight through that block and write anyway and allow myself to create sentences I am not thrilled with or totally inspired by. For me this year has been all about moving forward no matter what–good, bad, or ugly. I think what’s happening now is I have just gotten to know myself better–through writing, through the marathon training, through this whole year. I know that when I rest and take care–I can gear up to put my best foot forward later on. For me other people are the biggest challenge to this. I see so many people pushing and pushing–regardless of what might be best for them and regardless of exhaustion. I used to want to be “hard core” like that. Now I think being hard core is being a badass at rest, so I can be a badass at life as well. Look how long it took me to answer your comment!! 4 days!! I am resting like a beast 🙂 <3.

      I look forward to hearing from you in the New year lady–always enjoy what you have to say, always thought provoking! Have a great holiday Hanna! x

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  12. It’s a tough balance: to keep kindling that fire & passion and hone your writing skills, it’s helps to be prolific and active, and it’s okay if every post isn’t a masterwork (same way you can be motivated and passionate to get out for a training run but it can go poorly – you just dust yourself down and go again the next day). But if you get to a point where you feel like the soul and passion behind the content is dipping a bit, I don’t think there’s anything wrong at all with taking a break to recharge.

    I’m very impressed with how frequently you put out posts, to the point where I know I’ve missed a handful in the newsfeed. As you know, a lot of your posts do inspire me to comment! It’s funny because I think I came for the running talk, but the discussion about other things – lifestyle, challenges, what’s important, etc – have been just as (if not more) interesting to me. Although I’m not a high frequency blogger, that’s inspired me to write a little more about non-running topics.

    Enjoy the holidays and recharge 😀 If you blog a little less, I’ll look on the bright side and say I’m less likely to miss one 🙂

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    1. Paul I think you’ve captured perfectly what I didn’t quite convey in this piece–it’s not that I wanna take a break because what I am going to write isn’t masterful (is that a thing?) or perfect, it’s just that passion–that PUNCH that I usually write with is missing. I am not worried about it missing really, I am POSITIVE it is fatigue. Just got to rest up and take care of myself to get it back.

      I have to say, you are one of my favs–when I look back on the year and give thanks for all that this blog has given me, having you as one of my readers is way up there on the list. Your thoughtful comments have helped me grow in a major way. Wanna know something kinda great? Sometimes when I come home and I see that you have left a comment, I have to save it for the next day. I know that it is going to get me thinking too much and if I am trying to wind down, it’s too much activity for my brain. As you self reflect you challenge me to go further, it’s really pretty wonderful!!

      Have such a great Holiday Paul–enjoy the new vegan treats! Can’t wait to connect in the New Year!x

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      1. Totally get that. Whether it’s creative pursuits, athletics, work or otherwise, you need to allow things to breathe from time to time. The punch and passion is something I don’t think you can ‘lose’ as such; for me it ebbs and flows, and you just have to respond to that and adjust as necessary. It might change and fluctuate over time, but with the space to internalise what it means to you, it’s easier to get out of the mindset of ‘if I don’t do X thing Y amount of times I’ll lose my edge’, regardless of whether you’re at an ebb or flow.

        Even realising that is big, though, because I think most people don’t. They may have all the enthusiasm in the world and be grinding in their chosen endeavour, wondering why it doesn’t quite feel ‘right’. And then after recognising it, taking a step back and allowing things to breathe is another big step in and of itself. Sometimes it’s difficult to say ‘ease up, it’ll be good in the long run’ when it’s a passion.

        Thanks for the kind words Cat, I’ve said from day one on Word Press that I want to be inspired to think and inspire thought, whatever degree large or small. I’ll take that as a good sign that my rambling comments need a bit of time to digest 😉😁

        Have a fantastic holiday and New Year!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. My body will tell me when I need a break in that same way, and I think it’s totally normal (and good!) to take breaks when you are feeling it. I’m the same way in that when I commit to something, I REALLY want to do it REALLY well. I am bad at taking breaks. But trying to be better. I’ve also noticed that other people DON’T REALLY NOTICE when I take breaks! I mean that in a good, relieving way – like my first instinct is to think “oh everyone’s gonna think I’m slacking” but in reality… nobody thinks that. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own stuff. To sum up: take that break!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha, I totally know what you mean about how people don’t even really notice when you take a break! If I miss yoga or am not at the gym, I really think everyone knows and is thinking about it. Really sure the world revolves around me, LOL. You are right, no one cares–in a good way.

      I’m gonna take it! I felt freer as soon as I posted this. And honestly, the thought of just hanging with my hubs on Sunday after my run and packing for our trip sounds SO much better than locking myself in our bedroom and churning out another post. Ready to replenish–inside and out.

      Thanks lady! Have a wonderful holiday–I know it might be a tough one. My thoughts are with you and your fam. x

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  14. I struggle and then other times it just flows. It’s like a good run vs a bad run, I have no idea what makes the difference. I can do all the same prep and have the exact same routine, but then the run sucks! Or I can drink a glass of wine, stay up too late, not drink water and the next day have the best run ever. It’s confusing. Often I find if there is something I really want to get out, I trip over my words and can’t get started or can’t finish.

    You are not alone and I love reading your work. All of it! 🙂

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    1. I think comparing it to a bad run is spot on! I think it was so easy to write during marathon training because running and writing have so many parallels!

      I always enjoy your work as well Jane, so happy we found each other! Happy Holidays! x

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  15. I actually love this whole post and appreciate that you put it out there. I’m fairly new to blogging and try super hard to just write what feels right, but it’s not always easy. Things like this help remind me to keep working toward being genuine and not to force things.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Zulikha. I think you are definitely on the right track with the writing what feels right. I read a LOT of blogs and the pieces I am the most drawn to are ones where the writer shines through–when you don’t feel like they are trying to give you what you want, but rather just sharing what is authentically themselves and letting themselves be vulnerable. I think when people write like that, it’s so easy to connect to them, even if some little details or circumstances of my own story differ. Good luck going forward!
      Also, really happy to have you here, hope to see you around in 2018!! Have a great holiday! x

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  16. you’re a natural writer. not to say that you don’t work at it, but there’s a clean simplicity to your stories that seems so natural. it’s your voice.

    not every post needs to be epic or life-changing. sometimes we just like to hear the voice of a friend.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for this Joseph–kind and wise words always from you!! I know you are right–not everything needs to be life changing. Sometimes I think that’s the addict in me–always looking for the high!

      The voice of a friend…that’s good. Glad I get to hear your voice often enough–always laughing or learning from it, often both. Thanks Joseph. Happy Holidays! x

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  17. Constance Henderson

    I’ve been having a real hard time with this cold weather, the discomfort, the drying heater, the isolation because I can’t just go out and walk because of the ice. This morning, after reading this piece, I started thinking about the purpose of winter- rest, reflection, getting the seeds fed and hearty so they can open come spring. It is a different kind of self-care, but self-care nonetheless. I don’t know what that means right now. I haven’t done this in years. But, I will learn and discover. I was starting to get discouraged and fearful about the long winter. But, since I was able to see clearly your need for rest and reflection, it occurred to me hat I needed that, too. Life wasn’t punishing me, or chastising me, just nudging me to discover a new path. Thanks, again, for the push. Do you know how fun it is to get ready for Christmas because you and Mikey are coming? And Jules and Isla and Evie! Love you so much. Ma

    Constance Henderson

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aww Mama, I love what you took from this so much! I have been thinking about you out there back in the snow and ice again–I know it’s not easy to not get fearful again and feel the dark winter looming over. I think you’re right on to think of this in terms of nature. It’s kind of exciting right? Hibernate, rest, find different ways to socialize and recreate–who knows what you’ll build and what will bloom in the Springtime!
      So proud of you–always. We are so excited to be with you–so soon now! Love you Ma. x

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  18. I think we all go through this, I had a huge lull in creativity after writing about marathon training for MONTHS! Just give it some time the creative spark will come back and YES just look at the awesome writing you’ve provided us with already. Take your rest and enjoy it! xo

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  19. To answer your question it’s almost NEVER the posts or stories I feel the best about that get the most attention and/or positive feedback!

    It’s also inevitable that you’ll have a period where you perceive your writing to not be up to scratch (remember it’s just your perception). You’ve had such a strong central narrative of the marathon to tie your posts to for the last little while it’s not always easy dealing with the “what’s next” portion. My advice is to not be excessively hard on yourself – there’s nothing wrong with being critical of your own work as I believe that reflects passion and commitment for what you are doing but it’s easy to become overly negative. Each piece you write is part of the learning process and not everything has to be for public consumption 🙂

    I find that writing something totally different – dialogue only story, drabble, haiku, 26 sentence story with consecutive letters of the alphabet – reminds me why I have fun with words. Everyone is different but don’t be afraid to take a break. If you can run a marathon you have mental strength which means you won’t allow yourself to be gone for long and making excuses 🙂

    Have a wonderful end to 2017 if I don’t see you around the blogosphere and here’s to sharing lots of words in 2018 x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m so grateful for your comments Nik. I always am! I am so appreciative of you mentioning my “strong central narrative” of the marathon. It’s funny because I thought of all these other ways that ticking that goal off of my list would affect me, but I didn’t really think about it affecting my writing. I had some goals for my blog this year as well and I surpassed those. It’s great, but I am dealing a bit with that “what’s next” portion you mention.

      I am also glad you mentioned writing something else. I have some letters I want to write to friends. Old friends. I think that is where I am going to start. When I think about writing to them it already feels fluid so i think that is a good sign. Also, I am anxious to start trying to write dialogue so will definitely start looking at that in 2018.

      Honestly Nik, you’ve given me some of the best insight and advice in terms of writing this year. I can’t tell you how much I have appreciated it. Thank you for being so generous with your knowledge and experience–it’s helped me and also inspired me to hopefully be able to do the same for someone else.
      Have a great holiday Nik–and yes, LOTS of words in 2018. I ❤ words.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Definitely a good sign and it’s been a real pleasure 🙂 It’s great to know that some of my advice has been useful and you give out at least as much support as you receive! Here’s to an amazing 2018 for us both 🙂

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  20. Have a rest, sweety. Your body is telling you to. So will we.

    And yes, the posts I’m most proud of are the ones that do nothing, just like the book I crafted so carefully with the best title for being found by searchers has sold nothing! We just never know!

    Hope you have a peaceful and lovely Christmas and New Year and a good start to 2018. And thank you for sharing your marathon story.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Liz! Connecting with you has been one of my great joys this year– I always look forward to your feedback and your perspective! Thanks for encouraging the rest as well–the more I hear it, the more it sounds right. Have a wonderful holiday! x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You know me and rest and sleep! I got out for a run today – eeps, it was icy as anything but I was with friends and we watched out for each other. There’s a metaphor right there. I’ve loved finding your blog and reading your excellent writing, truly.

        Liked by 1 person

  21. It worked! I stumbled on you and thought ” hey this might be worth following” and I still am. Different aspects of different posts touch me, make me nod… so that is something strong and positive and take that with you into 2018! Keep writing I love reading x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You have no idea how big of a smile this gave me and how warm this made me feel today. My dream coming true <3. Thank you for being a reader–you're incredibly appreciated. Your words give me such strength for the new year–thanks again! x

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I have to echo these experiences: sometimes I work for AGES on a post, with research/links/good images etc, thinking it’s really valuable myself, and it goes OK… other posts I sit down and zoom off in 2 hours, just chatting away to my readers, and they get the most engagement and comments. Go figure. But yes, REST and relax, and just keep reading and doodling; enjoy real experiences in the real world; and it’s OK to take a month or two off, nothing dramatic will happen in the blogsphere that really matters, xO G

    Liked by 2 people

    1. YES! Real experiences in the real world. It’s not that I don’t have these all the time-I’m not much for the social media world–but I think always being “on” I am always thinking about how my experiences in the real world can be shared through my writing. I think I just need to live for a sec, and relax, and enjoy the great people around me. I had dinner tonight with a group of girlfriends and there was a moment when we all ERUPTED in laughter over something. I looked around and everyone was really having their hardest laugh–the kind where you’re in tears because you’re laughing so hard. I was actually able to freeze that moment, just for a second. I felt all the warmth and wonderfulness of it. It felt like LIFE. It was amazing. Looking forward to lots more of that in the next couple weeks!
      And glad you can relate on the posts–on some days I think it’s cool that people like posts that i don’t think are as strong, gives me such a different perspective!
      Have a great holiday season G, see you in the New Year! x

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Trace-Blogs

    Well I am glad you posted this because I feel exactly the same! I started my blog just for me, to write about my experiences of parenting and life and sobriety, but now I feel frozen. I feel as though I have a responsibility to give my audience something worthwhile to read. I second guess every post, every time I hit ‘publish’. So I think I’m going to go back to writing for me. Good idea! Good to know I’m not alone. Thank you! x

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You are definitely not alone!! It’s so great that you are realizing that you want to write for you–I think it’s so important to have that focus. I bet when you get back to writing for you whatever comes will feel natural and true–it will be your best work. I can’t wait to read <3. Have a great holiday lady. x

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Trace-Blogs

        Such a strange feeling – I had a lot of ideas until I realised I had an audience who I don’t want to let down. Hopefully the new year will bring some new self confidence. Merry Christmas!

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Hey Cat,
    Glad you are taking care of yourself and taking the rest you need. Looks like you’ve left a fabulous selection for me to read when I’m feeling the need for a “Cat Fix”. I love your writing and how genuine it is. So I’ll have fun reading while you are resting and recovering, and waiting for the enthusiasm to build. Take as much time as you need!!!!
    As far as your comment/question on posts and your faves vs. reader faves, I’ve been thinking a bit about that myself, with both my 6 months of blogging and the end of the year coming up. I’ve noticed the same thing. That which I may be most proud of or feel the greatest connection to may not be what resonates the most with readers. Interesting conundrum.
    So to you, have a wonderful holiday with your fam, stay warm, and I’ll see you when you are ready to return. xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. You’re the sweetest Steph. You’ve been such a source of inspiration and encouragement for me over the past several months. Thank you for that. Btw, I have read and LOVED your sugar post but work has been so crazy I hadn’t found a moment to comment. I hope your cleanse of it is going well–you are strong! No way I could do it BEFORE the holiday, but it will certainly happen after! Glad to know you’ll be around when I inevitably vent about the challenge of it here!
      Have a wonderful Holiday Steph. Much love to you. x

      Liked by 1 person

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