Through the Pain

Go THROUGH the pain…not around it.

My 2nd billboard—(what I’d put in Times Square, what I’d want my message to the world to be. See previous post What’s your Why? for further explanation.

I got sober and stay sober through AA. AA is not the only way to get clean, but it has worked for me and a lot of other people. So while I don’t push the program on other people—if they ask, I offer my experience and share what meetings and the 12 steps have done for my life.

I’ve met a lot of people who can’t stay sober. I don’t have a definitive answer on why some get it and some don’t. But through talking to people, I do know that what blocks a lot of us is the fear of facing ourselves and other people. The steps are all about looking in the mirror and admitting our wrongs to ourselves and to someone else.

That was and is some scary shit. Facing the person I have been and even who I am now is not easy. Telling family members and workplaces that I had stolen from them made me almost ill. My ego also found it maddening to make amends to people I was sure had wronged me as well. Why did I have to be the bigger person? The answer to that is that I was the one trying to stay sober. In order to have some fucking dignity, and be able to walk tall and look people in the eye, I had to clean up my side of the street and clear away the wreckage of my past.

If an alcoholic skips this part—that shit stays there. It eats at us. If we walk around it instead of cleaning it up, it starts to stink to a point where we can’t stand it. And if still, we are not ready to confront it—we drink.

The necessity of walking through the pain is not specific to addicts. We all have our garbage. We all have things we’ve done or feelings and situations we don’t want to face.

As a coach, I’m anxious to help people recognize how much freedom can be on the other side of that fear. I want to help others see that going through the pain is the only way to gain the life experience that brings us to our fullest potential.

Who could you be if you were willing to face yourself?

*Could you use this kind of help? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Please get in touch via the comment section, my contact page, or click the link below to set up a quick chat. My first 2 clients will receive a special discounted rate for their sessions. I’m anxious to hear from you.

 

https://cathbradleycoaching.as.me/

 

 

I’m so glad we’ve found each other in the blogosphere, let’s connect on Instagram  as well! I’m entering a new phase so while I’ll post here every so often, this site is a bit under construction. However I am up and “running” on IG daily ; ).  Please come find me! x

 

header image: kyle johnson 

 

* I hope these posts come through as what they really are–an explanation of why i have spent the last few months attaining a life coach certification. This is not a sales pitch. I really believe I can help. I know it can be hard to ask for help. But if you need it–think about setting up a chat. Why not see if we might be a good fit? 😉 Cheers all. x

11 thoughts on “Through the Pain

  1. Ah yes, going through the pain. This is me right now and, as hard as it is, I know it’s the right path. My Mum died 3 months ago and it’s been tough to work through that and let myself feel whatever it is I feel without trying to ‘snap out of it’ or mask it with something else. When I’m hurting, I let it hurt and just sit with it. When I’m feeling guilty, I sit with that too.

    I know you’re going to be an awesome coach – your blog has given me lots to think about and your clients will be very fortunate to have that wisdom and thought provoking in person 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Gill I am so sorry. I had no idea. Not sure if you have been writing about it–I feel badly if you have been and I’ve missed it. Haven’t been keeping up with everyone like I normally do. I am so so sorry for your loss. It’s quite something isn’t it–to sit with our feelings? Whenever I do it now I realize how many methods I’ve used over the years to avoid feeling.
      It’s also interesting that you mention guilt. That’s actually one I worry about with my parents. I worry they are going to go and i’m going to have regrets–or feel like i didn’t do the right thing or enough or whatever.
      I am sorry you are going through this now. I’m also proud of you for going through it, and not around it. You’re brave to face what you are feeling now–and wise to know that it won’t just go away if you ignore it.

      Thank you so much for your encouragement with the coaching. I hope I can help someone! It’s funny–each step is like a mountain I’d rather avoid. First it was taking the class that felt impossible. Making the time to study and practice. Now actually trying to get clients and build a little business–I wanna run away–why can’t i skip to the part to where things are going well and I’ve got a routine? LOL. I know I know. Through–not around. 😉 Thanks Gill. x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Movement is Life – cat h. bradley

  3. Hey Cat. Doing video conferencing will be great for you in your life coaching work. I wouldn’t do it as a therapist just because the issues are so deep that face to face, in the room is more appropriate for the clients I see. I am a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker and I see people with all kinds of life issues but mostly depression, anxiety, trauma, substance abuse, LGBTQ issues and eating disorders. I’ve been in practice for 25 years. It’s so rewarding and It definitely is my purpose in this life. The fact that you cried when training ended tells you it might in fact be your purpose too (or one of them). Re coaching me, I wouldn’t be intimidated by my (or anyone else experience) because you bring a personal and unique experience to the relationship, but I understand what you are saying. I remember starting out in my field and there are always people who need our help who have something more than we think we do whether it be education, experience or age. Just remember hurting people are just looking for someone who really listens and shows they care. I think that describes you all the way! Thanks for the offer to chat! I just might take you up on it but in the meantime, you keep doing what your doing. The people who need you will find you. 🙂
    Yoga is going great. Thanks for asking. I have class tonight in fact and can’t wait to get on my mat.
    🙂 Maggie

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ronda

    I love it! You are an awesome coach, Cat! I am so lucky to have had a session with you. One of my WHYS is “Be stronger than your excuses” Not my words, but a perfect reminder to keep pushing through!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Ronda! I miss you! Where is my Ronda every Sunday?! There is a hole ;).

      How are you doing with your clients? You are a one stop shop over there now–I wish we lived closer!

      And oooh…LOVE this why! I don’t think you shared this one before. I’m gonna keep this one with me. Been struggling lately a bit. Getting clients is not so easy (not that i thought it would be). But sometimes i get in that shitty feeling sorry for myself place of “damn, why is every step so fucking hard?!” LOL. Lifting myself out of it though, every day. And your “why” helps me do that. I’ve got to appreciate each step and just keep doing the next right thing.

      So glad we found each other in this world. So good <3.

      Like

  5. Yes, yes, yes. The one time where I really could not go through the pain and had to go around it (my pet cat passed away while I was having some awful medical treatment and I had to deal with the medical stuff and delay my grieving), I had a really hard time getting back on track once I had dealt with the grieving. I’m sure you’re going to be a brilliant coach and people will be lucky to have you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Liz, I got a little pain in my heart when I read this. Losing animals is the hardest. I’m sorry. Just like you say, even though you didn’t deal with it right away, it was surely still there waiting for you. Ugh, so hard. Glad you knew and understand the need for the grieving, even though it can be hard to go through. Thanks so much for sharing your experience! x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Congrats Cat on getting your certification! Going through what you’ve gone through to stay sober is a testament to your dedication to your own self care. As a therapist, I have clients who no matter what, can’t stay sober. I applaud you! And I believe you will be an awesome coach. I wish we lived near each other. I’d love to have you be my coach. I’m in the gym 3-4 times a week and it’s easy to give up on those last sets of weight training just because it’s hard and no one is telling me to keep going. But I get there and “just do it” and I’d never miss a yoga class. 🙂 I hope you get lots of clients. They will be lucky to have you as their coach!
    Maggie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Maggie! Thank you so much! What kind of therapist are you? Do you work with a specific population? A lot of our training in the program focused on the differences between coaches and therapists–cause we are definitely not qualified to give therapy! It was a really great learning experience for me. I actually cried after the last class (which made me feel like, alright, I think I made the right decision in doing this thing ;)).

      I plan to do most of my coaching via video conference–so no need to live near! I know that doesn’t work for everyone though.

      I totally get what you need about the gym being an area you need coaching in. We all get STUCK with certain things. I always think it’s good to figure out okay, if this is something I really want, what is making me stuck?

      I’d probably be a little intimidated trying to coach a therapist–especially since I am so new and you have been working for years. But in the future, if you do feel really stuck and you wanna chat, please let me know. It would be great practice for me!

      Thanks for your encouragement Maggie. Hope yoga is going well <3. x

      Like

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